The most read blog post on this blog is 

'When friendship becomes too much '  read it here or tweet it

We struggle in relationships, whether in the workplace, or at home.
You usually don't get to choose who your family or work colleagues are ...but your friends..its all on you.

You pick them, you gravitate towards them, you allow them into your life, into your heart, and when they hurt it you, you call yourself a fool for being vulnerable again, for letting them in time after time.

But  why do you keep going back? 

Most times its a shared experience.. most times its because they believe what we believe.
You may have that one friend that you have known for years, is basically an a - hole... but he is still your buddy because...he believes what you believe and you know this..and you trust this.

So maybe we should ask ourselves as we weigh our friendships, before I walk away..

Do I still believe what  I believed when I became friends with this person?

 Or do they believe what we both believed when we became friends? Do we still trust each other?

Then adjust accordingly. 


Sitting at a dinner table, long after the dinner has been cleared, the lighting is low, the wine still flows, the laughter is in abundance. 

You stare at their faces, your heart feels so glad, you are at ease.
Dinner with friends. Dinner with funny friends, dinner with funny friends you have known since you were wee high, friends you wish you saw more often.

What is so special about this moment? 
Of course the Bordeaux is divine, yes the duck was moist and the chilly sauce accompanied it like a dream, desert was a delicacy.....
   ........but most importantly it was the connection.

The connection you have with these people, connection at this point which has nothing to do with technology, nothing to do with how much each of you is earning, or who had the best selfie that day.

This is about the essence of who you guys really are, where you are at the moment in your lives, and the fact that you are accepted as you are.

Don't make these times few and in between.... 

' We need to do this more often..'   one of you probably chimes.....

Don't talk about it, be about it. 
Connect, more often, more openly, and more authentically. - tweet this!

How dare you compare the amazing work of art that you are to someone else. tweet this

How dare you belittle the talent you have, compare it with someone else's, just because they have a little more exposure, a few more likes, a few more followers.

How dare you insult the creator by demeaning that which he has deemed worthy of life , worthy of breathe, worthy of happiness.

How dare you look down on yourself and expect others to give you a stamp of approval when you wont even approve of yourself. 

How dare you!

Some people are bullied at school. Made fun of, beaten up, had their lunch taken, had eggs smashed in their faces...... and some never experience this.

Then they get to the work place, and the type of bullying changes.
They don't ask you to lunch.
They constantly criticize your work.
They have their favourite go to people in the office. 
You meet men that don't  think women can do the job.
You meet women that don't think women can do the job.
(Is this so far from highschool though?)

Do you know you can still do your job, still be nice to people and still not be a part of the 'mean girls ' group?

I'm not talking about looking for opportunities to be alone all the time, of course you participate, of course you collaborate, of course you offer to have a coffee with a colleague.

Be nice to the snakes, be nice to the wolves, you can be nice and still get work done.

Find the people that you feel safe with, whether they are popular or not.
Forge lasting relationships with them.
Leave your workplace for the better.

Can you sail alone and be the 'fool' at work, being the nice person, getting your work done and *GASP turning the other cheek? - tweet tweet

In reality, the mean people are actually lonely, they are scared...and no matter how put together they seem....not all that glitters is gold.Believe me.

You can, leave little trails of your love glitter , watch the wolves and the snakes be dumbfounded, and start to come to you more and more for advice.....

You can..sail alone.

There is a form of envy of which I frequently have seen examples, in which an individual tries to obtain something by bullying. If, for instance, I enter a place where many are gathered, it often happens that one or another right away takes up arms against me by beginning to laugh; presumably he feels that he is being a tool of public opinion. But lo and behold, if I then make a casual remark to him, that same person becomes infinitely pliable and obliging. Essentially it shows that he regards me as something great, maybe even greater than I am: but if he can’t be admitted as a participant in my greatness, at least he will laugh at me. But as soon as he becomes a participant, as it were, he brags about my greatness.That is what comes of living in a petty community. - Soren Kierkgaard -

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